4 Things Caregivers in the Sandwich Generation Need To Know

About 1 in 4 U.S. adults is a caregiver — and many are part of the sandwich generation, juggling their careers, raising kids, and caring for aging parents all at the same time.

So last week we gathered IRL for In The Middle of It All, a candid conversation with trusted voices on navigating the everyday realities of caregiving.

Our experts want caregivers in the sandwich generation to know how to advocate for themselves and their loved ones, make informed decisions about procedures and recovery, prioritize their own needs (even when it feels impossible), and lean on their communities for support.

1. You can't pour from an empty cup

“The sandwich generation feels more like a pressed panini generation. When you’re in the middle of it, you really feel the pressure from both sides,” says Caitlin.

If you’re a caregiver, you probably put everyone else’s needs before your own. It’s mentally exhausting. Caregiving goes far beyond cooking, cleaning, and school drop-off. It often means juggling medical decisions, tracking procedures and appointments, asking the right questions at the doctor’s office, and navigating recovery and pain management. That’s why it’s so important to take time for yourself, even if it’s just a few minutes.

2. Do Research and Understand Your Options In Advance

Coming prepared to doctor’s appointments isn’t just helpful; it can shape how a procedure, recovery, and pain management experience unfolds for everyone involved.

“Start asking questions immediately about what your options are, what the recovery’s going to look like, and what the pain management plan is going to be,” advises Dr. Marcy. Understanding what recovery will look like — from mobility limitations to pain management options — is key.

Psst… not sure where to start? Enter: the pain care checklist. This guide can help you have clearer, more confident medical conversations with a provider.

3. You Can’t Do it All — And That’s OK

With all of the invisible labor that comes with caregiving, “doing it all” isn’t realistic. Sometimes you have to pick what feels the most important at the moment.

Thinking ahead can make a big difference, especially when it comes to recovery. You can have a better experience knowing you’ve asked the questions, that you’ve gotten other opinions, and you know you have other options.

4. Caregivers Need TLC, Too

A lot of attention goes to the person receiving care. But don’t forget about the people giving it — they need support too. Looking to show up for another caregiver in your life? Skip “How can I help?” and get specific. “I’m bringing dinner.” “I’ll pick up your meds.”

Being in the sandwich generation can be a lot, but doing your research and understanding your options can help lighten the mental load and help you feel more in control of the process. Because caregiving isn’t just about showing up; it’s about helping guide every step of the journey, from the first appointment to recovery and beyond. And don’t forget: Taking care of yourself matters, too.